Ok, I just woke up, slept mostly whole 3 hours;D I guess I'll be hyper whole night. My dad brought my report card and I have all A's except B in that ... French class. Anyways me and Anna are going too get A's in French this and next quarter :]
So there is a lot of drama (queen) in our group. I'm not going to mention the names, people know who they are. And really weird thing about Jansen and his secret crush, I tried asking his good friend but he didn't tell me:[ Still I hope Jansen will find who ever he is looking for. he is so determined. So the thing that I think love is....
I think the world is a fairy tale. There are no bad ends, but only good. I guess I got that meaning of life, because my first love started perfectly. I liked the boy in Russia and we liked each other for at least 6 month, but he asked me only after 6 month (estimate) he didn't want to rush things and didn't want to waste time. It's still felt like childish prince and princess fairy tale to me, I didn't take it seriously. So we happily went out for about 3 years or 4, I forgot. We almost didn't had any fights. And I still didn't get a first kiss from him, even when I left. By the stories, don't prince gives a kiss to princess? I knew he wanted to kiss me but my friend was with me so he didn't. Sad. And it was the last day I saw him.
In here I went out twice, but I broke up with them after 2 days, because they were rushing. I hate people like that. Anyways, love is the thing that should be treasured. You get to look for it ur life, but you can end up looking for it forever. Don't waste time doing that. High School is for experiencing the thing about love. I guess I don't even have a lot to talk about in this topic, because I'm still a kid. I want to stay kid. I hate growing up...
And I also feel bad if anyone had a bad day, and I ignored them. I still try to make up by telling that life is not a sucker, people( the normal ones) will still think you is you:]. Haha I'm not making sense to me. Inspiration came from Jansen and Tiff and Sam and .......
Thursday, January 29, 2009
Monday, January 26, 2009
Leaving or staying?
OK, I guess this is the best time for me to write a new post. Sitting at night when everyone asleep, on my laptop, listening music (my inspiration, and because of that I make bunch of silly mistakes 8D) So the problem I want to talk about is, Leaving or staying. Vy-Anh knows what I'm writing about wink wink:]
So imagine you came to this absolute different country (please be some Asian). U are new. No one knows you. You don't know anyone. Feel lonely, but then someone comes to you and starts talking. You talk back. Laugh. Giggle.(that never happens thou) And now you understand that you found someone who is willing to be Ur friend ( I'm saying that from my point of view, it always been like that to me). As time passes by you get to know everything about that person. You hang out, but after a while you get to know all the mysteries about him. It's gets boring. Same activities. Same face. Same everything! It's just drives you nuts. There are two kind of people: those who stay same and those who wants more! Many people that I know (Vy-Anh, Sam, Tiff, Anna, Me....) are in the second group. Making new friends is fun you get to know stuff ( see I spelled it right now :]) about them. So even if you get an idea, that moving would be the only thing that will help. It's useless. So you'll live 4-5 years in different place, meet different people, get bored again. And then what run again? If you fell that it's getting boring, just scream it out and make difference yourself. I know that if someone will start, people will continue.
So I made up my mind, it must come to an end (the bye-bye leaving part)
Look at me now, will I ever learn? (Its hard for me to understand, friends are forever)
Mamma mia, here I go again (OMG)
My my, how can I resist you? (there are no boys...shh..)
Mamma mia, does it show again? (do people see I'm sad again)
My my, just how much Ive missed you (I missed u all)(friends)
Yes, Ive been brokenhearted (well not like emo broken )
It's something I watched today. God they have so many song...kill me now :]
So imagine you came to this absolute different country (please be some Asian). U are new. No one knows you. You don't know anyone. Feel lonely, but then someone comes to you and starts talking. You talk back. Laugh. Giggle.(that never happens thou) And now you understand that you found someone who is willing to be Ur friend ( I'm saying that from my point of view, it always been like that to me). As time passes by you get to know everything about that person. You hang out, but after a while you get to know all the mysteries about him. It's gets boring. Same activities. Same face. Same everything! It's just drives you nuts. There are two kind of people: those who stay same and those who wants more! Many people that I know (Vy-Anh, Sam, Tiff, Anna, Me....) are in the second group. Making new friends is fun you get to know stuff ( see I spelled it right now :]) about them. So even if you get an idea, that moving would be the only thing that will help. It's useless. So you'll live 4-5 years in different place, meet different people, get bored again. And then what run again? If you fell that it's getting boring, just scream it out and make difference yourself. I know that if someone will start, people will continue.
So I made up my mind, it must come to an end (the bye-bye leaving part)
Look at me now, will I ever learn? (Its hard for me to understand, friends are forever)
Mamma mia, here I go again (OMG)
My my, how can I resist you? (there are no boys...shh..)
Mamma mia, does it show again? (do people see I'm sad again)
My my, just how much Ive missed you (I missed u all)(friends)
Yes, Ive been brokenhearted (well not like emo broken )
It's something I watched today. God they have so many song...kill me now :]
Sunday, January 25, 2009
The Real mE
There are so many things about I want to write, but one thing sure I love to write my blogs with the music in my ears. It makes me think even deeper...
People are different, some show all their emotions in every day life, while others hide them away from others and sometimes themselves. I don't know where I fit. Where would be the right place for me to fit in? What character should I choose to feel more secure? All those questions pope ( I hope I spelled it rigth 8D ) in my head once a while. I try to show what really I am outside in the world, but as you read my blog, there are things that I try just not too mention.
I'm a really hyper person. Once Anna told me that she even thinks that I'm high or somethings. One things that will not ever happen to me. Doing drugs or getting drunk, that grosses me out. I guess because there are just some things that I consider DAME DESU ใ ใใงใ。I'm not that kind of the person who will do what you ask me to. One thing that I'm confused about myself is my loving and begging part.
As the love part, I fall for people really fast. Once I fell for you I can fall back or block the feelings really fast. It's just I don't want to wait for centuries for you to ask me out.(You doesn't refer to anyone who reads my blog, I wouldn't even know who reads my blog^_^) It's just as nature, a butterfly stays in it's cocoon for a while, but then it grows and grows and finally escapes somewhere far. As the butterfly grows my feelings get sucked in more and more. One moment they just fly away so far that its hard to reach that butterfly again.
As if begging part. I just hate begging people to do what I want them to do. Once I remember I was begging my mom to let me go to Tiff house. At the end when she let me I started crying so much. I couldn't stop myself from crying, at the same time I couldn't understand what is happening to me. Was it just that I was happy? Or is it that I feel miserable when I ask for something so much and then get it? I just really don't like that part of me.
Things that make me happy, is chocolate or something sweet. I remember days when I was little girl. When my mom got home with something sweet I used to hide under the night table and eat it by myself, not sharing with others:D. Of course I changed, but sometimes when I get something tasty I think about how should I eat it myself, but in the end I just share it. Oh my, now I feel like going to Tiff house and eating all her candies 8D.
I'll wrap it up, but I'll add some lyrics of my favourite song - Boys Before Flowers MV: Because I Am Stupid (Korean Version)
I'm happy even to be looking at your back
You still don't know how I feel
In the end you still go past me
In the days when I miss you very much
The days when I suffered pain
"I love you " is buzzing in my mouth
Crying for you a lot yet again
Those are just lyrics that I find sad, in that part of the lyrics I cried a lot, yet again. P.S those lyrics don't refer to me or any one else and they sound much better in Korean :D
People are different, some show all their emotions in every day life, while others hide them away from others and sometimes themselves. I don't know where I fit. Where would be the right place for me to fit in? What character should I choose to feel more secure? All those questions pope ( I hope I spelled it rigth 8D ) in my head once a while. I try to show what really I am outside in the world, but as you read my blog, there are things that I try just not too mention.
I'm a really hyper person. Once Anna told me that she even thinks that I'm high or somethings. One things that will not ever happen to me. Doing drugs or getting drunk, that grosses me out. I guess because there are just some things that I consider DAME DESU ใ ใใงใ。I'm not that kind of the person who will do what you ask me to. One thing that I'm confused about myself is my loving and begging part.
As the love part, I fall for people really fast. Once I fell for you I can fall back or block the feelings really fast. It's just I don't want to wait for centuries for you to ask me out.(You doesn't refer to anyone who reads my blog, I wouldn't even know who reads my blog^_^) It's just as nature, a butterfly stays in it's cocoon for a while, but then it grows and grows and finally escapes somewhere far. As the butterfly grows my feelings get sucked in more and more. One moment they just fly away so far that its hard to reach that butterfly again.
As if begging part. I just hate begging people to do what I want them to do. Once I remember I was begging my mom to let me go to Tiff house. At the end when she let me I started crying so much. I couldn't stop myself from crying, at the same time I couldn't understand what is happening to me. Was it just that I was happy? Or is it that I feel miserable when I ask for something so much and then get it? I just really don't like that part of me.
Things that make me happy, is chocolate or something sweet. I remember days when I was little girl. When my mom got home with something sweet I used to hide under the night table and eat it by myself, not sharing with others:D. Of course I changed, but sometimes when I get something tasty I think about how should I eat it myself, but in the end I just share it. Oh my, now I feel like going to Tiff house and eating all her candies 8D.
I'll wrap it up, but I'll add some lyrics of my favourite song - Boys Before Flowers MV: Because I Am Stupid (Korean Version)
I'm happy even to be looking at your back
You still don't know how I feel
In the end you still go past me
In the days when I miss you very much
The days when I suffered pain
"I love you " is buzzing in my mouth
Crying for you a lot yet again
Those are just lyrics that I find sad, in that part of the lyrics I cried a lot, yet again. P.S those lyrics don't refer to me or any one else and they sound much better in Korean :D
Saturday, January 24, 2009
New pages
So this is the first blog that I created in my life. The inspiration came from Anna. From Vy-Anh blog I learned that life is not long, and there are responsibilities. And Tiff blog showed me that you can talk to someone who is not talking to you at that same moment.
My past in Falls Church at 9hh grade is sad, every time I remember it, I fell that I just lost a part of my life for nothing. Tenth grade would be the same if I hadn't met people I'm friends with now. That turned me upside down and made me think how lucky I am to find someone(s) who are carrying and help each others in their own way. I'm not going to name them all, because what if I forget someone, I would feel terrible. Some people may say weird staff, like why Russian girl is hanging out with Asians. I even had a boy come up to me at Vietnames Celebrating and ask me if I was Asian, or what race am I. I asked the same question myself so many times. Why do I do it? It's similar to the story I read in Seventeen. A girl was questioning herself why wasn't she born a boy. She wrote that "I fell like my soul got mixed up with the body". At the end mother of the girl accepted the nature, and help with all she can to help her daughter/son. I fell kind of same way, it's like I was suppose to be born Asian but I just got wrong body. Ever since I went to first grade my best friends were Chinese/Korean kids. People who I hang out back then were also Asian, except my boyfriend. I'm planning on leaving America after I graduate and live in Japan/Korea. This country is only for education, but I don't understand why can't we go to Asia and study there? I guess because what my parents can't learn language any more. That makes me fell sad. Still I'll get where I want no matter. It's just easy for me to lean different languages. OK I'll just wrap it up. I'm bad at begging something, but see me continue.....
P.S I had to rewrite it 3 times so I don't think I did a god job, my first draft was best, but it deleted itself.
My past in Falls Church at 9hh grade is sad, every time I remember it, I fell that I just lost a part of my life for nothing. Tenth grade would be the same if I hadn't met people I'm friends with now. That turned me upside down and made me think how lucky I am to find someone(s) who are carrying and help each others in their own way. I'm not going to name them all, because what if I forget someone, I would feel terrible. Some people may say weird staff, like why Russian girl is hanging out with Asians. I even had a boy come up to me at Vietnames Celebrating and ask me if I was Asian, or what race am I. I asked the same question myself so many times. Why do I do it? It's similar to the story I read in Seventeen. A girl was questioning herself why wasn't she born a boy. She wrote that "I fell like my soul got mixed up with the body". At the end mother of the girl accepted the nature, and help with all she can to help her daughter/son. I fell kind of same way, it's like I was suppose to be born Asian but I just got wrong body. Ever since I went to first grade my best friends were Chinese/Korean kids. People who I hang out back then were also Asian, except my boyfriend. I'm planning on leaving America after I graduate and live in Japan/Korea. This country is only for education, but I don't understand why can't we go to Asia and study there? I guess because what my parents can't learn language any more. That makes me fell sad. Still I'll get where I want no matter. It's just easy for me to lean different languages. OK I'll just wrap it up. I'm bad at begging something, but see me continue.....
P.S I had to rewrite it 3 times so I don't think I did a god job, my first draft was best, but it deleted itself.
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